I’ve been thinking about writing this blog post for several weeks. I wish I had a ton of emotion to throw into it, but I don’t. So I’ll just tell you four things, straightforwardly and Betsy-style.

Making bets: Seven years ago today, Mike and I were married. Seven years ago, some of my friends were apparently making bets at our wedding reception about whether or not we’d get pregnant on the honeymoon. I hope they know that THEY ALL LOST because I bet NOBODY thought we’d be childless seven years later – especially me. We weren’t planning a honeymoon baby, but thought we’d have a baby a couple of years into marriage. (The full story is in the book, in case you’re curious.)

Marriage is: I read a blog post this week that sums things up pretty well. (Here it is.) On our first date, Mike and I were amazed at all we had in common: We each have two sisters and a brother and parents who love each other! We each love international things! We both lived in North Carolina! We both worked in the corporate world! We went to the same church! Okay, maybe that was all, but that was enough. 🙂 After marriage, learning to live with one another daily and realizing HOW DIFFERENT we are has brought some challenges, like with any marriage. But we’re committed, and we love each other deeply and unchangingly. Whether or not we become parents doesn’t affect the fact that we’re in a covenant relationship.

Feeling empty: Maybe it’s because I’m a nanny and used to hauling a toddler wherever I go, or maybe it’s because several friends who got married the same year as us have 3 or 4 kids. When Mike and I took a big road trip this past summer, visiting friends and family, attending a wedding, and having a few days for “just us” – I felt the emptiness of not having a kid or two in the backseat. At our ages, many of our peers are parents (let’s face it, some of Mike’s peers are grandparents), and it feels weird to not have joined them yet. (However, I’d like you to know that I have yet to wish I had kids in the middle of the night… because I really do like sleeping.)

Yet God: Yes, we thought we’d have kids by now. Yes, our marriage is strong. Yes, I miss the kids that we don’t have yet. Yet God…

• Yet God has taken us on adventures: travels, a move to a new city, where He keeps surprising us with a life that was not our plan.
• Yet God has taken our faith to a whole new place, as He’s asked us a loooooong, hard question “do you trust Me in this wait?”
• Yet God has allowed Mike to pursue a new career and He’s allowed me to follow a life-long dream of becoming an author while we wait.
• Yet God knows what He’s doing. He’s holding the future. We know that He has good plans for our lives.

Seven years ago, I would not have envisioned us living in an apartment on the outskirts of Washington DC, childless, nannying somebody else’s kids. Seven years ago I suppose I would have thought we’d have that American dream of a house with a yard where I was a stay-at-home-mom to a few kids and my husband worked in a job he loved – and if not that, we’d live a fascinating life in another country. But this is the life we’ve been given, this is our treasure in the sand, this is the reality of who I am today. Check back with me in seven years to see what happens next!

More of my blog posts about having hope during infertility can be found here:

www.hopeduringinfertility.com/infertility-topics/

Photo Credit: Karen Saunders Photography karensaundersphotography.com/%5B/caption%5D

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team.

I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015. My first children’s book is due to be published in 2016. You can learn more about me here. 

I would love for you to connect with me by following my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. 

Thanks so much for reading my posts!