If you’ve been trying to conceive for more than a month, you might feel irked by questions that people ask about your plans for growing your family. Over the years, I’ve snapped at a few people, I’ve tried to playfully turn the conversation away from myself, and tried everything in between.

Here are a few ways I’ve learned to respond when thoughtless comments come my way. Keep in mind that these are my opinions, and each person is different. However, I have heard other women in similar situations make suggestions like these:

• Plan standard responses for when those awkward conversations arrive, such as, “We hope to have a baby any time now.”
• Begin by telling people you trust that you are having difficulty getting pregnant. Practice with those who are easy to tell and with trusted friends. As you grow more comfortable, you can tell people that you desire to be a mother but that it just hasn’t happened yet. We have found that it helps to be up-front with everyone. Then people can pray for us and encourage us, and they won’t ask when we’re planning to have kids.
• Take a deep breath or pause for a moment, then choose your response carefully. Remind yourself that responding to hurtful words with more hurtful words is not the answer.
• Realize that people are probably trying to encourage you, even when they say things that seem insensitive. Any time that you are able to, receive their words as encouragement. When someone says, “Oh, it will happen,” believe those words.
• Receive prayer. If someone says that they will pray for you, then thank them. Don’t be afraid to ask people to pray for you.

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team.

I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015, and my second Seasons: A Picture Book was published in November 2016. Although this book is intended for children, if you’re still in a barren season like I am, I think that Seasons will encourage you with a glimpse of God’s goodness. Both are available for purchase through Amazon or other online booksellers.

I would love for you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page andmy Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. I occasionally tweet as well.

Thanks so much for reading my posts!