I remember trying to hide my tears when I heard her news.

I wanted to be excited for her – in fact, I truly WAS happy for her – but her joyous announcement took me off guard and reminded me of what I did not have.

Another day, another woman whispered her pregnancy news to me privately as we passed in the hallway. Maybe she was trying to be sensitive to my childlessness, or maybe she was bursting with excitement and couldn’t keep it a secret. As I congratulated her she told me that she and her husband would soon make a public announcement. Later that day, I realized how grateful I was that she had told me privately before I was obligated to smile when they made the big announcement.

I can honestly say that I am happy for those who have what I want – yet the grief for what I lack hasn’t gone away and it can trigger tears without warning.

If you were to become pregnant, one of the kindest things you can do for your friend who is struggling to conceive is to privately tell her. Just in case her face doesn’t immediately form a smile, you might want to email or text her so she can process it privately.

I love babies and I’m truly happy for those who are blessed with them. I desire to genuinely rejoice with those who rejoice. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I have remained childless while my friends and family have welcomed baby after baby. It doesn’t mean that I don’t occasionally cry over my emptiness.

This same principle applies to your single friend who longs for marriage – if you’re about to announce your new relationship or engagement, gently warn her.

If you’re the one hearing the news, make every effort to rejoice for your friends in the same way you hope they would celebrate with you! And while you’re cheering for your friend, keep embracing the hope that one day your turn will come!

Please share this post on your social media page. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility at some point, and likely will help someone you know.