Trigger warning: this post is about pregnancy after infertility

During National Infertility Week in 2016, I wrote a post describing the first six years of our infertility journey. It’s time that I update you with the final year of our infertility story. I share this for the sake of other women who are struggling to conceive, because I know that hearing what works and what doesn’t work for others is helpful information to a TTC woman! I also write out this story because it demonstrates what God has done! (This post is longer than my usual blog posts, but I hope it encourages women who are currently in this struggle.)

I encourage you to begin with Part 1 of Our Story to read about the start of our journey: www.hopeduringinfertility.com/our-story/

Let’s pick up where I left off, March 2016. That spring, I felt as if God kept highlighting the month of March to me. I hoped and prayed that it would be our breakthrough month, that finally God would say “YES” to our prayers for a child! On March 17, 2016, I had surgery to remove endometriosis and uterine polyps. High on anesthesia, as they rolled me into the operating room, I announced that it was my last surgery – I was done with this!

Surgery went fine and recovery began. Then, on the very last day of March, my husband received a long-awaited job offer, and we were grateful that March ushered in that major answer to our prayer.

April came and went, as did May, and I did not become pregnant as hoped. In June, I wondered if we would conceive, bringing a March baby like I felt God had whispered. No pregnancy.

Time passed, and I dealt with some other health issues (severe pain in my neck and back), yet my life was full since I still worked full-time as a nanny, blogged, wrote books, and so much more. In October, my husband and I attended the Walk of Hope in DC, sponsored by Resolve, the National Infertility Association. There I spoke with representatives from two local fertility clinics, and left the walk feeling ready to make an appointment for a consultation, just to see what the specialists suggested.

Up until this point, we had only sought care from my trusted OB-GYN, who focuses on infertility and endometriosis. I’m grateful for her knowledge and direction, and also for her willingness to listen to my ideas and insights. Most of all, I am grateful that she never told me to give up hope, or made me think that I would never have a child. Hope and optimism go a long way!

In November 2016, I stepped into the fertility clinic for an appointment with a doctor that was recommended to me. I was nervous, and I was holding a large file of paperwork – our medical history and records from my OB-GYN. I also had a blank sheet of paper on which to take notes.

I might not be the ideal patient at a well-known fertility clinic, since I marched into the doctor’s office and told him a few things:

• We’ve been trying to conceive for over 6 years.
• We have a strong faith in God that He can do it.
• I have strong convictions about the ethics of reproduction.
• Money is a limiting factor.
• Oh yeah, and I’ve written a book about my infertility journey and write an infertility blog.

I wasn’t exactly the kind of patient who says, “Whatever you say, Doc!” However, I wanted to hear his thoughts, to ask questions, and to understand my options.

The options boiled down to three basic choices:

• Pills to boost fertility – such as clomid or femara. I had tried many, many rounds of meds at that point, and we agreed that those weren’t a good option any longer.
• Shots, with or without IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination). These options were Follistim or Gonal-F, with Ovidrel (the trigger shot). Without health insurance for infertility coverage, it could cost $500-$2500 per cycle for these treatments.
• In-Vitro Fertilization. If we decided to pursue this route, my husband and I would want to make decisions that line up with our Christian faith and our beliefs of when life begins. We would not want to destroy embryos or be left with excessive embryos when our family was complete. However, with a price tag ranging from $10,000-25,000, IVF was not an appealing option at that time.

I left the doctor’s office thinking, “With modern technology and science, why isn’t there another option?”

We moved forward with the initial round of tests at the fertility specialist’s office, squeezing all that we could into our current insurance year (since my surgery in March reached our very large deductible).

As it seems to go for many of us experiencing infertility, our periods seem to come during holidays and special occasions – and mine arrived just in time to ring in the new year. I was discouraged to wrap up yet another year of not being pregnant.

2017 provided new health insurance through my husband’s new job. We were grateful that after nearly 7 years, we finally had health insurance that would cover some infertility treatment. Up until this point, only fertility testing and other medical issues were covered.

In May, we tried injectable fertility drugs without success. In June, we tried the same injectable drugs with an IUI. That first IUI did not result in pregnancy. I was discouraged at the end of June, knowing that nothing seemed to be working, and knowing that a busy July would inhibit our ability to try another IUI immediately. I looked at my calendar closely, guessing the days when my predictable cycle would begin, hoping that we could start an IUI cycle at the end of July, and again at the end of August if necessary.

The fertility specialist had gone over some statistics with me at my initial consultation. He said, “If you walked in here at 36 years old, saying you were just beginning to try to conceive, I would say that based on your age, you have about a 12 or 14 percent chance of conceiving each month.”

Then he said, “But based on your age (nearly 37) and your history (6 ½ years unable to conceive), you have about a 1 percent chance of conceiving on your own each month.”

I took note of his words, but didn’t share them with anyone other than my husband. Knowing that we did not have any diagnosis other than mild endometriosis, we had not given up our hope of having children. We had considered adoption, learning about the process and the cost – the process being emotionally difficult, and the cost being comparable to IVF, which was out of our budget at that time.

One Thursday evening in July, I anticipated that my next cycle would begin over the weekend, so I called the specialty pharmacy to order the next shipment of injectable drugs. The pervious evening I had arrived home from work earlier than usual, and since my husband was also home, I took a very early pregnancy test, with hopes that we might have a miracle. Not seeing a second line on the test strip, I tossed it into the trash.

Friday morning, I awoke, and as I had many times, I made sure to capture my “first morning urine” into a little plastic cup. Stepping into my bedroom and eyeing my stash of high-end digital tests and cheap pregnancy test strips, I grabbed a digital test. I dipped the stick into the cup, and left it in the bathroom for a several minutes. When I returned, it said:

YES +

I was shocked that this device was telling me I was pregnant, yet I was thrilled because God was clearly telling us that HE COULD DO IT! Throughout 7 years and two months of trying to conceive, we had many natural cycles, many medicated cycles, and had just begun more invasive treatment at the fertility clinic. When life interrupted and we had a natural cycle again, God said, “IT’S MY TURN!” (Read our announcement here.)

I have seen that God can do anything. Nothing is too hard for Him. He is good, He is faithful, and He is able.

Remember back at the beginning of this post, when a couple of years ago I kept thinking God was saying something about March? God had been whispering to me after all, because my first calculation of a due date was March 31, the very month God had promised, the anniversary of my husband’s long-awaited job offer. (The doctors have since moved the due date the first week of April, but our baby could come in either month.)

I will continue to write about our journey, and I hope that this story brings you hope and increases your faith that God can take a womb that seems like it will never produce life and create new life there.

My advice to anyone struggling with infertility is to pray, seek God, ask Him for direction, and to not give up unless He tells you it’s time to quit. You never know when a miracle might happen, so keep allowing God opportunity to do what only He can do!

Read more of my blog posts here.

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008, and look forward to the arrival of our first baby in 2018! We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot and doing life as a team.

I write because I feel called and I enjoy it, and I hope that my words point you toward God! My first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility is intended to infuse hope into your heart! My second book, although written for children, will point you toward the goodness of God, even in the darkest times.

You can learn more about me here. I would love for you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. I’m also on Instagram and Twitter as @lovethatbetsy.