Do you ever feel anxious that after all these years of trying to conceive, you’ll be an old parent? I could name all the fears and anxieties that sneak into our minds, but that won’t do us any good to dwell on them. The fact is, that after years of infertility, many of us will be older parents.

When we moved to the Washington, DC, area a few years ago, I was happy to find out that around here, many people pursue their careers for years before settling down and starting a family. Although starting a family later in life was never my plan, I was glad to find out that I’d fit right in if I were to have babies in my upper thirties.

This was quite a contrast to the small town in Tennessee where I had lived in my early twenties. It was perfectly normal for people to get married and start their family well before age 25. So when I was living there at age 27 and still single, I decided it was time to move on. So I did. I moved to North Carolina, where I soon met my husband.

Since I’m 36 and Mike is older than me, I often wrestle with the fact that we are older than many others who are starting families. And I’m glad we’re not the only ones. I chuckle at the time when I was at a playground with the kids I nanny for. I’m regularly striking up conversations with strangers on the playground, and one day I asked a man sitting on the bench near me, “Is that your grandson?”

“No, he’s my son.”

He definitely looked old enough to be the grandfather. And I had definitely just put my foot in my mouth and did not know how to get it back out.

Although Mike and I might be older than many of our peers when we finally have kids, I’m coming to grips with the idea that IT’S OKAY.

It is OKAY that God sometimes allows people to become parents much later than they expected. The wait is long and hard and it often just sucks.

But I’ve seen enough beautiful stories of people becoming parents later in life and later than they had hoped.

Our pastor commented during a recent sermon that “God does things out of season all the time.” Just because you think right now is your season to become a parent doesn’t mean that God has determined that right now is your season.

Plus, there are advantages to having children later in life. When we allow God to teach us through the process, then we will be wiser than we would have been at a younger age, and we will treasure our children in a greater way.

I am thankful that my husband is willing to keep trying to have children, despite our ages.

And I take to heart the innocent words of a 7-year-old I know, who has said to me twice: “You’re kind of young to have kids, aren’t you?” Yes, little one, I’m just kind of young.

Psalm 92:14 says, “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.” (God is able to keep us youthful!)

Genesis 17:3 says, “Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age.” On my Facebook page and Instagram I shared some thoughts surrounding that scripture today.

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team.

I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015. You can learn more about me here. I invite you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page.

Thanks so much for reading my posts!