For many years, my Januarys have felt like the most depressing month. The fun and festivities of the holidays are behind us. The world outside for many of us is often more gray, cloudy, and dreary than the rest of the year. When I lived in Northern Virginia, the literal and figurative fog made me want to curl up under a blanket and hide until spring.

One January, I began writing my way through my own disappointments, specifically the ongoing disappointment of a barren womb. My prayers continued to be unanswered, and life felt gloomy in the middle of the winter. Every now and then when we lived in the Washington, D.C. region, God would shower us with a fresh snowfall, and for a day or two, the world would sparkle with a crispy white glittering snow. As winters came and went and my words collected into a book manuscript, I knew that I held a book that needed to be shared with the world in the winter. But life happened, and I couldn’t pull it together for several years.

Then 2020 came along: a move to a new place where I knew no one and a pandemic allowed me “free time.” But I was delighted that my womb wasn’t barren any longer – I was pregnant, staying home with our toddler, feeling both fatigued and unmotivated, drained of creativity and energy. However, I was determined, and I plodded along, trying to finish writing and editing Beauty in Barren Places: Seeing God’s Goodness Here and Now. In the fall of 2020, toward the end of my second trimester, I had enough energy to really push through and finish the writing and editing.

It felt a little bit weird to promote a book about “finding God’s goodness in barren places” while I was living in lush, green Hawaii, a place where the sun usually shines. It’s not the gloomy gray world I had previously known. Plus, I was expecting a baby in January–barren wasn’t exactly my word of the year.

Then our baby died unexpectedly in December.

Suddenly, what I anticipated to be the happiest January I’d experienced in a very long time would be a month of unexpected emptiness–no new baby in my arms, and all of my plans for 2021 thrown off track.

Once again, I’m in a barren place–but by now I’ve learned that barren places are empty spaces for God to fill. I’m asking Him daily, sometimes hourly, to fill my heart and home with His presence. We need Him like never before, and we are seeing Him like never before. I think of the words of Job after tremendous loss and trial:

My invitation for you:

This January, I invite you to read through Beauty in Barren Places with me. I’d love for you to join my virtual book club through discussion within a private Facebook group. If you’ve already read the book, please join us for the discussion.

I’ll lead a conversation through Facebook posts from January 5 – 30. I’ll write questions, you can respond. You can also share your thoughts and insights within the group! Every now and then I’ll include a video, but this isn’t a video chat (aren’t we tired of zoom?)

Click here to join the group!

You can get your copy of the book through Amazon: order a paperback (delivered to many locations quickly) or order the Kindle book for immediate access. (You don’t need to own a Kindle – you can download a Kindle app on many devices. And the Kindle book is currently discounted!)

Leave a comment or send me an email if you’d like to. If you have read Beauty in Barren Places I would love for you to tell your friends about it and leave a review on Amazon – word of mouth and reviews help authors more than you might realize! Click here to join the private Facebook group.