In January 2015, I found myself days away from publishing my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility. Four and a half years into our infertility struggle at that time, I felt timid and nervous at the reality that I was sharing my personal story, not knowing if God would ever say YES to our prayers for children.

Today, in January 2018, I rediscovered something I wrote that month. (Keep reading to the end for today’s reflections.)

(January 2015) Since I was listening to the audio Bible through the YouVersion app in 2014, I was able to absorb the book of Esther all in one sitting – or maybe I was running or bike riding – but regardless, I listened to it all at once.

Esther is the story of a young Jewish woman who, through a series of events, became the queen of the land through her marriage to the king. In this role of queen, God used Esther to save the Jews from being completely wiped out.

When her opportunity came to give the message to the king that would save her people, she was nervous.

I have a message as well, a message of hope for women struggling with infertility. Today as I write, we have been trying to get pregnant for 4 ½ years, without a single known pregnancy despite medical intervention. The fact is that it looks like a hopeless situation. The most important fact is, God keeps speaking hope to us, and because my faith and hope in Him have grown throughout this struggle, I wrote a book to try to share that hope with others.

It’s intimidating to tell people that they too can have hope that God will give them a miracle baby – when my miracle baby doesn’t exist yet.

So that day several months ago when I listened to the book of Esther, here’s what I heard. Esther’s cousin Mordecai who was also her father through adoption spoke great wisdom to her:

Esther 4:14 (NIV) “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

For such a time as this. Mordecai told Esther that she did not have to deliver that message. He explained that if she did not, then God would rescue His people in another way. God’s purpose would prevail and God’s message would get through. I sensed the Lord telling me that if I refuse or put off my calling to deliver His message about having hope during infertility, then He would still get it through – just in another way.

I dream that women will find hope and faith to believe that they can birth what seems impossible. I pray for the babies of those hope-filled women who will be born with a call from God and a special destiny.

One more thing about Esther’s story that amazes me is this: God’s impeccable timing. “For such a time as this,” Esther was born. Then through the series of events explained throughout the book of Esther, we see that God’s timing was so very right.

I can look at my circumstances and trust that His timing is right. No baby yet, but I can still have hope that my miracle is coming. And I can trust that when God says to deliver a message, that He knows what He’s doing!

Here I sit, three years later, feeling my miracle baby kick me from the inside. I don’t know why God sees fit for her to be born in 2018 instead of 2011 like we originally hoped. Yet circumstances and prayers surrounding her conception make it very clear to me that somehow THIS is God’s divine timing for her to step into the world. God’s plan for when she is to live on this earth is more important than my plan for when I wanted to have children. I bought this little sign at Hobby Lobby that will sit in her room as a reminder.

Whether you’re trying to start your family, or you’re  already a parent, whether you’re young or old, single or married, remember that God always has a plan with His timing. And if you, like me, feel God prompting you to share a message and you’re afraid, know that He will get His message across with or without you – but has He placed you and your message here for such a time as this?

The best way to keep up with my writing is an occasional email from me! Here’s how you can sign up:

Read more of my blog posts here.

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008, and look forward to the arrival of our first baby in 2018! We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot and doing life as a team.

I write because I feel called and I enjoy it, and I hope that my words point you toward God! My first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility is intended to infuse hope into your heart! My second book, although written for children, will point you toward the goodness of God, even in the darkest times.

You can learn more about me here. I would love for you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. I’m also on Instagram and Twitter as @lovethatbetsy.Thanks so much for reading this post!