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This isn’t the first blog post I’ve felt prompted to write even though I don’t feel like an expert. I’m not over 40, although it’s just 2 1/2 years away. I’m not a medical expert or intending to give any specific information on how to get pregnant or how to grow your family after 40.

Anyway, why is 40 considered to be such a bad thing?

40 is the new 30, right? 😉

Unfortunately, a woman’s fertility declines as she ages. Decades ago it was frowned upon for women to be having babies in their 40s. It’s much more accepted now, but the truth is, a woman is typically less fertile as she ages. That’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re a woman who wants to be a mama, and the candles on your birthday cake make you wonder if it’s even possible.

Over the past few years, I’ve spoken to, corresponded with, and prayed for many women over 40 who still want to be moms. They may feel like time is slipping by, opportunities are lost, and it’s too late. While wrestling with “how do I encourage this group of women?” I contacted a mentor who became Mommy well after 40. She encouraged me by saying that if God has given someone a dream of motherhood, then pursue that dream.

Maybe you will have a healthy biological baby later in life, with or without fertility treatment. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a child who isn’t immediately labeled “healthy.” However as the older sister to someone with Down syndrome, I would be the first to say “congratulations!” because that child is a blessing.

Maybe God will open your door to motherhood through foster care or adoption. Maybe you’ll become a mom in some sort of non-traditional sense. Maybe your life will be a reflection of Isaiah 54:1 (The Message): “Fill the air with song, you who’ve never experienced childbirth! You’re ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women…” Maybe your “far more children” won’t be biologically yours, but your mother’s heart will expand in ways you never imagined.

It’s possible that your dream or mine may never be fulfilled here on earth. I take comfort in Hebrews 11, which reminds me that many heroes of faith never saw what they hoped for, instead they lived by faith until they died. This continues to be my stance as I approach 40 and as I count my years of infertility on two hands: Let us be women who keep living by faith, asking God to answer our prayers, whether or not we ever see the answer.

Affiliate link disclosure: I, Betsy Herman, participate in the Amazon Affiliate Program, which means that I will earn a small commission from Amazon when you shop through the links on my site. This income helps to pay for my website’s expenses – so thanks!

I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008.

My sis-in-law snapped this photo

We welcomed our first baby in 2018. You can read about our long road to parenthood in these blog posts, or read our story in my first book, When Infertility Books Are Not Enough: Embracing Hope During Infertility.

Seasons: A Picture Book is my second book, although it’s written for children, it will point all readers toward the goodness of God – especially in the darkest times. Most recently I published a book for new authors or people who dream of writing a book, and I hope that Write Your Story: Straightforward Steps for (Finally) Writing and Publishing Your Book helps you finish your book as well! I have another book in the works – my email list is the best place for getting updates on that! Subscribe here.