As I navigate pregnancy after infertility, I know must be hard for some of the women in my life to watch me experience this. It was hard for me to see other women becoming mamas or having more babies, knowing they were receiving the good thing I desired. Sure, there are “right” attitudes to have, but regardless, it’s hard.

Friends who long for their own babies, or who are hoping for marriage and children: I see you. Friends who became mamas by adoption but never experienced pregnancy, I haven’t forgotten you. Today I want to acknowledge these women in my life, you who stand with me and celebrate our miracle baby, even when your heart aches for the same. For those who don’t have the emotional capacity to celebrate because you’re grieving for your own babies – that is okay. I understand.

Thank you, women in my peer group, for being truly happy for our baby-on-the-way, even though you’re still waiting for your own babies. To those still battling infertility, still hoping, but somehow able to celebrate with me and share in my joy – I know it’s difficult. To my friend who loaned me the maternity clothes that await her use. To my friend who offered to throw me a baby shower even though her arms are still waiting for her babies, to those who attended the shower with aching hearts. Facebook friends who are truly delighted at the news of my baby, even though they still wait. I know how hard it is, because I was in a similar situation for 7 years. Thank you for rejoicing with me!

Thank you to the friends in their 30s and 40s who are wondering why God has yet to bless them with their two greatest desires: marriage and children. That’s your prayer and hope – that God will give you a spouse and children. When you celebrate our long-awaited bundle of joy, I know you might be fighting your own emotions, and I am honored.

Thank you to married friends who are nearing or beyond your childbearing years who still celebrate this new life, even though your own chances at motherhood are slimmer than ever. Your smiles, your Facebook comments, and your ability to celebrate with me amaze I feel so honored to receive your congratulations and support.

It’s beautiful to have other mamas celebrate our baby, yet the emotions are even fuller knowing that a woman with an empty womb or empty arms is sharing in my joy. And I have so much grace for those who ache who simply can’t bring themselves to celebrate. It’s okay.

Pregnancy after infertility is beautiful, but I have not forgotten the ache and the grief I felt for many years. I see you, friends. Thank you for sharing this time with me.

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Hi, I’m Betsy, married to Mike since 2008, and we’re delighted that our long-awaited baby girl has joined us in 2018. We live in the Washington, D.C. area. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot and doing life as a team.

My first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility is intended to infuse hope into your heart! Seasons: A Picture Book, although written for children, can point readers of all ages toward the goodness of God, even in the darkest times. This year I published Write Your Story for new authors or people who dream of writing a book. I hope that it helps you finish writing & publishing your own book as well!

You’re invited to follow my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. You’ll find me on Instagram and Twitter as @lovethatbetsy. Thanks so much for reading this post!