Not long ago, I celebrated the first of many 39th birthdays (well, since I’ve told the whole world my age, I’m sure I’ll call it what it is when I have my 40th birthday!)

If you’ve followed my story, you know that our miracle baby was born last year after 7 years of infertility, when I medically qualified as a “geriatric pregnancy” or “advanced maternal age.” (These terms are often applied to women who are 35 or older. And my husband is even older than I am, but men don’t seem to get that classification in their medical records.) 

Over the years I have communicated with countless women, listening to the stories of those struggling to become pregnant or carry a baby to full-term, grieving losses together, grieving what will never be. These days, the women my heart aches for the most are women older than me who still desire to have a baby. So if you are 40 or older, and your heart still longs for a baby, this post is especially for you.

Maybe I’ve spoken to you, messaged with you, and prayed for you or women in a similar situation to yours. I know that the doctors might say that your chances are slim-to-none. Maybe you’re not even married yet, and you long for both a husband and children. Many have shared with me the sorrow of menopausal symptoms in a body that still longs for offspring. You’ve told me you’re like Sarah of the Bible, too old. I reminded you that God has not changed since He gave Sarah and Elizabeth babies later in life. I am still convinced that even though God doesn’t seem to open every barren womb these days, He is able to do so.

Sure, I know the reality is that it’s “more ideal” to have your children in your 20s or 30s. I have calculated how old my husband will be when our daughter finishes high school. I’ve seen the tired faces of older parents of young children. It might seem more ideal to have a baby earlier in life, but as many of us know, that isn’t always within our control. My husband and I will tell you that it’s worth it to have a baby later than planned – ours brings joy, and hopefully she’ll keep us feeling young.

To my friends and readers who are 40 and above, who are hoping and longing for a baby, or grappling and grieving because the reality is that you might not, I just want you to know that I care. I pray for you. I hope with you. I wonder why with you. 

If you’d like to join a private Facebook group (a secret group) for women 40 and above who are hoping for babies or grappling with the reality of not becoming a mama, would you get in touch with me? You can send me a private Facebook message and I will connect you with this group I’m forming.

Know that you’re not alone, remember that God is able to miraculously make the barren woman into a happy mother, and know that He is always good.

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008, and welcomed our first baby in 2018!

My first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility is intended to infuse hope into your heart! Seasons is my second book, although written for children, will point you toward the goodness of God, even in the darkest times. Most recently I published a book for new authors or people who dream of writing a book. I hope that Write Your Story helps you finish your book as well!

You can learn more about me here. I would love for you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. I’m also on Instagram and Twitter as @lovethatbetsy.Thanks so much for reading this post!