Desperate.

Women dealing with infertility feel desperate – some feel this way often, others feel this way at times, but I daresay most of us feel desperation at some point. Sometimes I hear myself whisper, Oh God, I would do anything to have a baby.

I would follow a very strict diet if it guaranteed pregnancy.

We’ve tried all sorts of things but if one promised a baby for sure, I’d seriously consider it.

I’ve already paid thousands of dollars to try to resolve underlying health problems.

Others are willing to pay thousands, or tens of thousands, to try pregnancy through IVF (in-vitro fertilization).

We’re all over the spectrum of where our desperation leads, but it’s often there.

Childlessness makes us feel desperate.

Aging bodies do too.

Years passing by without two lines on a pregnancy test makes us desperate.

I’m so glad that God included the story of the woman with the issue of blood in the Bible. Because she was desperate, and in her desperation she did something that went down in history. This woman, who spent all her money on doctors and still wasn’t healed, was bleeding in the same way many women with infertility are today. In her desperation she didn’t care; she boldly reached out to Jesus.

He was on His way somewhere, He was surrounded by a crowd, but she didn’t care.

She reached out to Him, and touched Him.

He found her in the crowd, and He said that her faith was healing her.

I’ve reached out to Jesus time and time again. I still wait for my reproductive system to demonstrate that it has been healed by the One who formed it. And while feeling desperate during infertility, I have reached out to Jesus, and that connection, that touch, that relationship – those things are so, so worth it.

I fully agree with Sara Hagerty, who writes in her book Every Bitter Thing is Sweet, “I realized that if, at eighty, my body hasn’t known the healing of the Sarah who went before me those thousands of years ago, I will know that I pleased Him with a hope that kept me raw and vulnerable to His touch.”

(Came to my Rescue Live by Chris Mcclarney came onto my Pandora station as I was sitting in my car writing out this post – it’s worth listening to as you cry out to Jesus today.)

Hi, I’m Betsy Herman and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team.

I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015 and I’d love for you to read it! My hope is that this book will infuse hearts with hope. 

You can learn more about me here. I would love for you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page.

Thanks so much for reading my posts!