I sat down to write this at the end of a really rough day. On that particular day I had cried my eyes out all afternoon – mostly because we still have no baby. While to some degree I’m used to it, infertility does get harder with time.

Although the challenge is tough on every level, I know for a fact that God is the one who sustains me through it. I have turned to Him time and time again and have grown closer to Him in this process.

As a Christian woman, I want to survive this trial of infertility. I even want to thrive as I walk through this valley of childlessness. Here are some practical steps I am taking:

1) Sing to God. I sing a lot throughout my day, but even on that particularly tough day when I cried a lot, I told my husband that I wanted to take the time to sit down and play the guitar. It’s not something I do often, however, that day I pulled out my guitar and began to sing truth about God out loud for Him to hear. I thanked Him for what He did on the cross. I sang that “through it all, it is well with my soul.” These are statements of truth and faith. I sang, with emotion, “You give and take away, blessed be Your name.” My voice quivered as my thoughts said, “You give and take away and sometimes you just don’t give.” In those thirty minutes of singing directly to the One who creates all life, His truth sank into my heart, and I began to feel better.

2) Immerse yourself in God’s truth. Read the Bible. If you have a smart phone, listen to the Bible through one of the apps available. Read books and blogs that point your heart toward the hope that God offers. Ponder the stories of the people in the Bible who struggled to become parents. Listen to good sermons. When you’re filling your mind with God’s wisdom and encouragement, you’ll see your situation in a better light.

3) Speak life. Trust me, when I’m really tired and I’m upset with this infertility battle, it’s really hard to speak life. I say negative things like, “My stupid body won’t make a baby.” I express words of doubt, such as, “I’m not sure we’ll ever get pregnant.” Unfortunately for him, my husband is the only one who I allow to hear these worst moments. He reminds me, over and over again, to take charge of my thoughts and speak words of life. It does no good to call my body stupid and broken. Because there is power in the tongue, instead I need to choose to speak God’s truth to myself. What has He told me? I’m convinced that He has said that He is allowing this SEASON of infertility to happen for “such a time as this” – for His divine purposes and timing. One recent morning as I drove to work, I was singing to God when I began to pray out loud, speaking words of life. Referencing Habakkuk 3:17-19, I prayed, “God, even though there are no babies in our home and even though we’re experiencing lack in other areas in our lives, I will still choose to praise You because You are good!”

4) Let go of stress. Everyone is different, but two ways in which I release stress are by running and sleeping. My emotions are in much better shape when I sleep eight hours at night. I occasionally lie down to rest or nap during the day – and it definitely makes me a happier person. (In the years that I had a desk job it was not unusual for me to nap in my car during my lunch break. What can I say other than I need sleep!) Running has been extremely therapeutic for me – it allows me to focus on a painful challenge other than infertility. When I push myself to run further or faster I realize that I’m stronger than I feel and I am able to overcome difficult situations. When I’m in the running groove, I feel better overall. You don’t have to run or nap, but I recommend that you figure out a healthy way to deal with stress and commit to it. Because infertility is stressful.

Bonus tip: Do as many of these things as you can all at once! Run + listen to scripture or a sermon + sing God’s life-giving truth aloud. It’s easy to feel discouraged about infertility – I battle those feelings nearly every day. However taking intentional steps to take care of myself and focus on God have helped me to survive – and often thrive!

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team. I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015. You can learn more about me here. I invite you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. Thanks so much for reading my posts!