In the infertility community, BFN means Big Fat Negative. I had seen it on pregnancy tests, month after month, for years. Consistently, I saw BFNs throughout nearly 100 cycles, whether confirmed by a pregnancy test declaring “NEGATIVE” or whether I simply let my body declare it, even more loudly and clearly than the test would have. Infertility is often a repeated cycle of disappointment, BFN after BFN after BFN.

Meredith Hodge, blogger at It’s Positive, posted something on Instagram that caught my eye last summer. She wrote:

“I never thought of flipping #BFN (Big Fat Negative) around to NFB: New Found Beginnings… how has a BFN turned into a new found beginning for you? Or maybe it hasn’t, but what are some new found beginnings you’re hoping or praying for?”

Meredith was referring to this greeting card designed by www.instagram.com/leviandroen_inprint/.

It reminded me of a rough week in my life: our first IUI failed, my period came, yet that very week people were emailing me prayers. “I see God breaking the banner infertility off of you.” And “I declare you pregnant in Jesus’ name.” Well-intended prayers from people who I knew were praying, but I was discouraged because all I could see that week was the disappointment of another BFN.

Little did I know, until looking back several weeks later, was that the very BFN I was so discouraged about was really a NFB – a new found beginning. I later realized that the period I was so upset about was my last period before our miracle pregnancy began. As I prepare for our baby to be born, I keep thinking about this when I fill out forms for my doctor’s office and the hospital and they ask for the date of my last period. Gestational age of a baby begins with the day the last period began, so that discouraging day ended up marking our new beginning. Women struggling to conceive don’t realize when we’re having our BFN that it might instead be the NFB!

My encouragement to all women facing infertility, experiencing BFN after BFN, is to always look forward in hope, with faith that God is still able to do the miraculous, despite our past experiences. God has demonstrated His ability to bring forth a miracle pregnancy in my life, and I believe He can do it for you as well!

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Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008, and look forward to the arrival of our first baby in 2018! We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot and doing life as a team.

I write because I feel called and I enjoy it, and I hope that my words point you toward God! My first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility is intended to infuse hope into your heart! My second book, although written for children, will point you toward the goodness of God, even in the darkest times.

You can learn more about me here. I would love for you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. I’m also on Instagram and Twitter as @lovethatbetsy.Thanks so much for reading this post!