A trend I notice in women who want to be mamas, but aren’t (because of circumstances beyond their control, such as no husband or infertility) is that many of us love working with kids. We are teachers, nannies, foster parents, Sunday school workers, doting aunties, and more.

I’ve heard the question “how do you handle being around kids when you can’t have your own?” Well, sometimes it’s heartbreaking, but for me, its also often therapeutic. Yes, it’s hard emotionally to sit beside a sweet new mama who is nursing or snuggling her baby while I am wishing for my own. However, I love snuggling babies, and since I don’t have one, I might ask to cuddle yours.

At the moment, I am supervising five children – the ones I nanny plus some friends. I peck out a sentence on the keyboard of my phone, then glance up to make sure all are accounted for – one, two, three, four, five kids – now back to writing. (Yes, I’m conflicted in my passions – hanging out with the kids and my desire to be alone to write.)

Loving the children in my life and working as a child care provider benefits me more than it saddens me. Yes, I definitely feel my lack. But the joy that children bring – the laughter, smiles, and cuteness – it really warms my heart. I’m sure that I wouldn’t smile as much without the amusement of having kids around.

Plus, I’m learning. I’ll be approaching my late thirties before having babies, and I’ve spent a lot of years with other people’s children – learning about parenting, about discipline, and most of all, learning to love.

Especially if you’re struggling with your emotions when it comes to being around other people’s blessings, I encourage you to find a way to serve. Help with the children’s program at your church, offer to give a tired mom a short break, or even offer to accompany that tired mama on an outing to make it easier for her.

Children love the attention you can give them, and they love to be loved. Kids will benefit from having healthy relationships with adults – they’ll learn to converse and relate to others.

I could simply mope around and wallow in the pain of not having my own children, or I could choose to enjoy the moments of loving other people’s children, knowing that other families can benefit from my willingness to serve. I choose to love the little ones – they’re worth it.

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