“How are you?” people ask.

Usually I reply with a “good” or “fine” or “okay.” Mostly I am. During half of the month I’m most often truly feeling optimistic about our situation. Seasons affect me too – I’ve learned that in dreary seasons, like winter, I struggle more emotionally. But sometimes, beyond the “okay” on the outside, I might feel:

• Weary.
• Tired of waiting.
• Like I can’t keep standing here in expectancy.
• Like my arms are tired of being lifted toward Heaven.

photo credit: Kim Baker This photo may not be used without permission.

In December 2014, during the cold barrenness of winter, an image popped into my head (placed there by the Holy Spirit) and it was a picture of a woman, standing in a stance of worship and expectancy.

I searched through some stock photos on the internet and couldn’t find what I had envisioned, so I asked a photographer friend if she would be able to meet me in the next day or two to photograph me standing there with my hands lifted to Heaven. She said yes.

After many clicks of the camera, and me feeling a little silly standing out in nature with my arms lifted to the Lord and my heart worshipping Him, we captured the photo for the cover of my first book, which was my story of battling infertility.

Six months later (and five years into the journey of trying to start a family), I found myself feeling incredibly weary – feeling like I’m still standing there with my arms in the air, and feeling quite tired.

I wrote a blog post around that time, and upon sharing it on my Facebook page, I received some responses that initially made me think people are feeling sorry for me! I don’t want sympathy!

Then I realized that it’s not sympathy, it’s support. And that’s exactly what I need!

If you’re struggling through infertility or any other dry season of life, you need support too. You need someone to lift your hands up toward Heaven when you’re feeling weary, like you can’t go on.

People are praying for me and encouraging me with their words. Like that internet friend who I’ve never met who is praying for me, or our family and friends who faithfully pray for us to have children.

There are those friends who have intentionally bought gifts for our babies, because they have faith that those babies will come.

And that friend who mailed me a baby blanket that she made by hand, with expectation that one day we’ll wrap our baby in it.

Words of encouragement keep coming. Dreams. Videos. Songs. Testimonies. Scriptures. They flow into my email and my phone on a regular basis – and I am grateful.

A friend (who is more like a friend-of-friends, who I haven’t seen in over a decade) sent me a snapshot of her bathroom mirror, with my name written on it in marker, because she’s praying for my baby to come. Even when she needs a miracle in her own family.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been very public with my struggle to become a mother, or maybe it’s because God does have a plan for me to have children, so he’s reminding me of His promise over, and over, and over again.

One day, way back in the Old Testament, the people of God (the Israelites) were headed into a battle. Moses, the leader, went up to the top of the hill and lifted his hands up. While his hands were in the air, the Israelites were winning the battle. When his arms grew tired and he lowered them, they began to lose the battle. As his arms grew weary he sat down, and Aaron (his brother) and Hur (another fella) stood on either side of Moses, each holding one of his arms up toward Heaven until the battle had been won.

I feel like I can relate to this story.

Many times I have called this infertility journey a battle. Some people get pregnant easily and others have to fight for their children to come forth. I am one of those that must battle for my babies. My arms are weary – honestly, I’m often tired of standing here reaching up toward Heaven. At times I feel very tired of hoping. I just want this to be over.

Yet I am reminded that there are people to my right and my left, holding my hands in the air. There are people I haven’t met, and people in other countries lifting me up. And in this battle, I’m able to not just pray and hope for my own babies, but I have been able to encourage others in similar situations.

I am not alone in this journey – this community of women I have discovered who are also crying out to God for their families to grow – these women stand alongside me with hands in the air. As we stand together, lifting each other up with prayer and support, we are lifting not only our own hands toward Heaven, but lifting others up as well.

Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team. I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015. You can learn more about me here. I invite you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. Thanks so much for reading my posts!